I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
