so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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