Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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