Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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