after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
