I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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