I'm lost and stupid without you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
