Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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