Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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