Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
