Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
