Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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