i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize