she smelled like a LAN party
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
