She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
