too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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