The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
