when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
