think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
