i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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