thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize