Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
