just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
