He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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