Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
