I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
