Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
