One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
