You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
