ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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