I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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