Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
