At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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