Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
