Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
third nipple confirmed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
