Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
