dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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