"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
