You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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