I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
