similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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