actually, I'm a sock model
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
