I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
