Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have fence marks all over my body
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
