The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
