I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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