I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
