I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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