Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
