Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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