WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
