I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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