you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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