I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
