no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
