I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
