He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
