brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize