He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
