woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
