i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
