You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I could make wine with my vomit
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
