I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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