i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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