I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
