So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
