i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I AM VODKA MAN
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
