at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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