I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
