you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
