Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
